Caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease is challenging enough without caustic, inaccurate criticisms leveled against the caregiver. Sadly, it happens, and what’s even sadder is that we caregivers are often the culprits behind it.
Avoid comparing yourself to another caregiver
Comparing yourself to another caregiver may provide you with a false sense of superiority. However, it can also cut the opposite way, leaving a caregiver with feelings of inferiority. Stop the madness! You’ve heard the old saying, "Different strokes for different folks." Well, the same applies to caregivers. Different caregivers employ different means to provide care that is perfect for and specific to their loved one. What worked when caring for my mother versus what works for you and your parent is different. We are different people with different situations.
Admitting there’s a problem
I’ve been guilty of casting judgment. I am embarrassed to admit such a thing, but it’s true. Thankfully, I wasn’t so rude, or maybe so real, as to cast judgment right to another human’s face, but internally, I asked condemnatory questions.
“Why doesn’t she visit her parents more often?”
“How is it that his or her children aren’t more involved?”
“How can they allow their parents to continue to live alone, without help?"
“Don’t they understand that it’s time to intervene?”
Once faced with my own set of complicated circumstances, I came to understand that there are no easy answers to those questions. Yes, in some cases, family members can be clueless, and fail to recognize the signs that a declining parent exhibits. However, more often than not, circumstances dictate reactions and responses. Think of it: 25% of caregivers